What Autism Did To Me

Three years ago my world was rocked by three little letters. The letters ASD changed my life forever in a few short moments.

Three years ago, my oldest son Will was diagnosed with ASD, or Autism Spectrum Disorder. By the time we were able to get him tested due to the 6 month waiting list, we had researched the web from start to finish and had a pretty good idea that this condition was what he had. What really sticks in my brain is the first moment that someone mentioned that we needed to get him tested for autism. Even as a physician, what I knew of Autism was mostly vague. I felt like my heart had stopped beating. As I learned more and more of ASD, I knew in my heart that my son had autism. As I came to this conclusion, I grieved for everything I had dreamed for my son from the moment that I first held him in my arms. My son was still the same that he had been before the diagnosis, but I was changed. I struggled to talk to other moms, especially when they were telling stories about their "normal" children. How do I explain to others what I didn't understand myself at the time? I was still struggling with my own expectations and learning how to guide my son through his world. I knew that I had to learn everything I could, so I threw myself into the web even further. I read everything I could find about autism and scared myself silly! My biggest fear of all was my not trusting that God would be big enough to penetrate my son's world and make Himself known. Thanks to a wonderful praying patient who knew my situation, I don't have that fear anymore. This wonderful person committed to praying for my son and myself for 40 days. During this time, we were able to get Will into a great environment where he was finally able to get potty trained, his verbal skills flourished and I was able to make great leaps in finally understanding my son's way of processing the world around him. I was no longer afraid that God wouldn't be able to reach my son and I repented that I had put limits on a limitless God.

Now God has put a passion in my heart for making others aware of Autism. I want to use my talents for medicine to provide better medical care to those affected by ASD, not just the children but the parents and the adults affected. Currently 1 out of 110 children are affected with autism. One of them is mine. I want to help others understand this condition. I want people to understand about it but also about the people affected by it. My son does not mean to be difficult when he gets overstimulated. I want to educate other parents about how the autism brain works and how to understand about the stims, the sensory overload, etc.

Three years ago, my world changed. It made me work harder for and appreciate the small daily victories so much more. I no longer grieve over what my son will NOT do because of autism. I rejoice over the wonderful heart and soul in his little body and know that God will do great things through him because of his autism.